I look in the mirror at my scars and I am completely amazed. It provides such an accurate analogy for how things really do heal with time. Unfortunately, I didn't think about taking a before picture. But this is the 1 year later photo:
It's almost invisible, but there's still just enough there to remind me what I went through. That seems to be how everything heals. A broken heart is mended with the love of those around you, but there is always that one little mark that reminds us what we went through. If I turn in just a certain way, I still feel the muscles/tendons pull and stretch and it hurts. Just like hearing a certain song you shared can still bring tears to the eyes.
As I've healed in more ways than one over the past year, I have been reminded that I'm not the one who takes care of all of this. I know that God put me in the job at FH so that I could get the best surgeon, the best care, and the best support. He put me in a place where I would be able to get paid for being out of work. Even though it was extremely stressful, I am thankful I was there.
Sometimes we question what we have to go through. Why did I have to get cancer? Why did I have to have my heart ripped out? Why did I have to start my life all over again? But when it's all over and we come out on the other side, we see what the purpose was. God never promised us an easy ride, but he did say he would walk beside us the whole way and carry us when we just can't walk anymore.
I'm on the other side now. I know there will still be pain, both physical and mental. I know my heart will always have a scar. I know that while I love my new job, it isn't perfect and there will be problems. I can truly live my life as I was intended. And as of now, CANCER FREE!!!
